Like a lonely baby sloth, clinging to its mother, The Toucher-Feeler will down a few drinks and then attach himself to you like his life depends on it. Whether you're longtime friends or brand new acquaintances, he'll still be emphatically professing how much he loves you dude and what a true bro you are as he gently strokes your face with one hand and spills his drink on you with the other. Escape Plan: The Toucher-Feeler is like a parasite, and will cling to whatever host happens to be the closest. Maneuver him to a sturdy house plant, prop him up against it, and head for the kitchen on the pretense of getting another drink. No, your house isn't haunted, and those aren't the sounds of a mournful spirit with unfinished business in this world; that is the sound of The Weeper, who is incapable of opening a bottle of beer without also popping the cap on a bigger bottle of unfiltered emotions. As they continue to drink, they'll continue to get sadder and less comprehensible until they become a soggy blob of tears, snot, and dying cat noises.
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I had attended this event twice prior and had no such issues. This year, I put myself in a situation in which I should have stopped drinking at a certain point and did not. In turn, I do not remember numerous inappropriate things I said, displayed questionable behavior in front of people I should not have, and am currently facing an HR write-up.
The First Sip is when you know it is go time. When that first drop of delicious alcohol hits your tongue, your mind and body are taken to another place. You are ready to get weird. The Buzz is the feeling you get when the alcohol hits you.